It is past 1:00am and I am up with Gabriel. He is pretending to sleep on my chest. I know he is pretending because I've tried to lay him down six times after extensive rocking and cuddling. Alas, he has decided that he is only going to sleep while in my arms. On the bright side I've only been able to spend a brief few hours with my child today and although he is sleeping, there is no greater feeling than knowing that he thinks I'm his everything. Of course, it is my prayer that he will get that out of his little head early. I really do want him to know his true Father's love. While everything in me wants to claim Gabriel as my own, I know that what has been given to me is meant for greater things than what my depraved self can give. Sweet sweet grace.
On another note, I've noticed that it is late at night that I am able to unwind and actually think. I wish I could get this honest during the day. It is sad that I can't. So in this time of honesty I am quite apt to write things I may not at other more...awake times. I feel like such a rebel drinking the darkness while the rest of the world feeds off tasty dreams or bitter nightmares.
Funny the things on TV at 1:20 in the morning. Sleeping is for the weak. Ho Ha Hum!
Good night, I'm tired, Gabriel is down for the count it seems, and I am going to bed.
On another note, I've noticed that it is late at night that I am able to unwind and actually think. I wish I could get this honest during the day. It is sad that I can't. So in this time of honesty I am quite apt to write things I may not at other more...awake times. I feel like such a rebel drinking the darkness while the rest of the world feeds off tasty dreams or bitter nightmares.
Funny the things on TV at 1:20 in the morning. Sleeping is for the weak. Ho Ha Hum!
Good night, I'm tired, Gabriel is down for the count it seems, and I am going to bed.
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