Monday, December 20, 2010

What Are the Odds?

So I stumbled on this today.  Sometimes in moments of weakness and discontent I dream about winning the Lottery.  I list off the things I would do like rescue everyone on both sides of the family from debt, moving them to Park View, and buying my dad and John Lang  the biggest TVs I could find complete with NFL Sunday Ticket.  Well, sometimes it takes a visual to put things into perspective (or feel like crap).  Check out THIS link and then come back and share your thoughts.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Worth Laughing At

The following was almost sent only to Holly, but then I realized that the select handful that reads my blog, Holly being one of them, would also probably get a kick out of this.

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? 

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. 

George: Great. Lay it on me. 

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China. 

George: That's what I want to know. 

Condi: That's what I'm telling you. 

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China? 

Condi: Yes. 

George: I mean the fellow's name. 

Condi: Hu. 

George: The guy in China. 

Condi: Hu. 

George: The new leader of China. 

Condi: Hu. 

George: The Chinaman! 

Condi: Hu is leading China. 

George: Now whaddya' asking me for? 

Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China. 

George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China? 

Condi: That's the man's name. 

George: That's who's name? 

Condi: Yes. 

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China? 

Condi: Yes, sir. 

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East. 

Condi: That's correct. 

George: Then who is in China? 

Condi: Yes, sir. 

George: Yassir is in China? 

Condi: No, sir. 

George: Then who is? 

Condi: Yes, sir. 

George: Yassir? 

Condi: No, sir. 

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. 
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. 

Condi: Kofi? 

George: No, thanks. 

Condi: You want Kofi? 

George: No. 

Condi: You don't want Kofi. 

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N. 

Condi: Yes, sir. 

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N. 

Condi: Kofi? 

George: Milk! Will you please make the call? 

Condi: And call who? 

George: Who is the guy at the U.N? 

Condi: Hu is the guy in China. 

George: Will you stay out of China?! 

Condi: Yes, sir. 

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N. 

Condi: Kofi. 

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.